I wanna passion pit in your ass
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You are the jesus of drinking
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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