i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
