Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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