just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
