so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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