Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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