Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
