It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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