singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
