well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
