ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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