I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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