ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My liver just broke up with me...
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize