In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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