She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize