dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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