They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
