He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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