Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
