We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
