omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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