Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize