i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize