Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
