You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize