I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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