Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You're like the curious george of whores
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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