ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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