He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
