Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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