wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
