she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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