You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
