Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
