Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The chlamydia really affected his face.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
