Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
