Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
