Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
