Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize