If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
