I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
