Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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