Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Randomize
