he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
