She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Randomize
