Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
