He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
