I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
