Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
