When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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