if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
