Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize