either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
