Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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