His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
