did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize