first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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