I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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