he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
