I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
