How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
