never play flip cup with pint glasses
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
