Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
All I want is dick and wine.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
