I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
