I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
